Please Help! My heart is bleeding. Anyone with kind words of wisdom is desperately needed!!?

I’m in pain right now. I’ve been mentally beaten down by someone I cared about. My boyfriend and I got in a drunken fight on the phone last night and he said the most hurtful things. He told me that he never really cared about me and his feelings were all a facade. He then told me that I have problems in a very condescending way. This was all after I told him how I felt about him. It was like he was spitting daggers because he felt challenged. I was bulimic for 8 years and have been recovered now for 1 year. He knows that I deal with depression and he knows that I have “issues”. It’s like he took my most insecure secrets and used them against me. I’m in therapy and have been doing so well but lately if been stagnate in my recovery because of him. I used to be strong, I was on the right path to self discovery but he’s broken me down. I suffer from severe co-dependency issues and I don’t know how to break away from him. Good or bad I get addicted to someone and can’t leave.

Please Help! My heart is bleeding. Anyone with kind words of wisdom is desperately needed!!?
He's pushing your buttons and he knows which ones to push. You are letting him control you instead of practicing self control. You know he isn't any good for you. Ask yourself why you feel the need to be punished? People with bulimia generally use it as a way to feel they have some control over their lives. In your head you tell yourself your BF takes away your control, but in reality you are giving your control away. No one can save you until your realize you have to protect yourself. You can't change how your BF treats you (or anything else about his behavior) but you can change how you react to him. Refuse to allow any negative people, places or things into your life. That includes your BF. It may be hard to do, but it isn't impossible.
Reply:Well, the first clue is the word "drunken". Was this a single event or do you have drunken fights all the time? If the latter, I would suggest that you both stop drinking when you have issues to discuss.





If the former, then you have to remember that alcohol is not necessarily 'truth serum'. What you may have been hearing is simply a drunken stupor stream-of-unconsciousness.





The second clue is your confession of depression and co-dependency...and your other "issues". You have some serious conditions that would prove difficult for anyone to live with...including you. I feel for you. But, until you find the right combination of therapy and/or medication, it might be best to distance yourself from any relationships. I don't mean to be blunt, but in counseling terminology, you may be 'high maintenance' and 'borderline toxic'.





That's not to say you can't be fixed, but in your admittedly less-than-normal state, you may want to focus on getting your own house in order before inviting guests in to share you life.





Sure, the guy was a jerk. He treated you badly. He may or may not be the best person to be close to right now. But, in all fairness, you share in some of the reason he reacted the way that he did - with a large portion of that equation being ALCOHOL.





You still have a lot of work to do. I wish you the best. Keep the responsibility for your mental and physical well-being within your own life. Don't expect someone else to be your cure. You will have to work that out yourself.
Reply:He used your most guarded moments in your life against you, that's the meanest, cruel, insensitive thing I've heard yet. You're in therapy for a mountain of issues, co-dependency doesn't exactly work well in this situation.





Let him go and love yourself more to get better, he didn't break you, only you can do that. Recovery should be your first priority right now.
Reply:This man seems like an as$! i mean it! I understand that you have issues that make you feel like you cant break away from him, but you need to continue on your path of strongness and make it a goal to release yourself from him! you have to think about you and how he made you feel at the moment when he was using your insecurities/faults against you. Any one who does that, especially about bulimia or depression" things that people really cant get over completey and quickly" are not someone you want to keep around! I have just recently studied all of these disorders and know how hard it can be to even get one step higher in acceptaing and overcoming your problems. You say that you were doing so much better and than he does this to you and basically trashed all of you progress! you cant think that you need him in your life, because you DONT and if you do get enough strength to leave him and accept that you are better than him! than you will soon enough be in even a more sane state becuase he will not help you he will only make things worse! I really hope you move one, and please dont forget how many people there are out there who can be with you and understand all of these issues and never throw them up in your face!!!!!! Things will get better all in good time, as long as you choose the right path!!!! GOOD LUCK!! if you need anything else ever e-mail me: sissy852004@yahoo.com (my name is jessica)
Reply:You need to eliminate anyone from your life who isn;t helping you succeed. This man is where you need to start eliminating.
Reply:You need to realize that your a good person, and a strong one, you have proved that to yourself already, you have put the bulimic illness behind you and moved past it for 8 years. That is not a small achievement.





You need to learn to like yourself before you can expect others to like you.





I'm sorry but your boyfriend is a jerk and you need to boot his drunken butt to the curb. He is bad news and will only drag you down. Your better then that and you deserve better.





Like the old saying goes " You've come a long way Baby" Don't let anyone put you down ever.





Another old saying my mom use to say may help you too, no matter what the situation or the person it's very true... " Your friends don't care, and your enemies don't matter" Your real friends don't care because they love you no matter what, they will always be there for you and with you when ever you need them.





He is not only a jerk he is not your friend, he is incapable of being that to anyone because he is a malicious, jealous manipulative jerk and your better then that.





Good Luck and congrats on you 8 years... WELL DONE!
Reply:2 words. DUMP HIM%26gt;


he is not worth your time so go loose yourself in trying to make yourself a better person, try some self help courses or a new hobby.


good luck
Reply:You are the pilot of your life . So you trusted this guy and he burned you .You get up brush the dirt (boyfriend) off and get right back into things.You probably think that you are a weak person, but hear me you are strong.It's not easy to have struggled with eating disorders.That fact is you are very strong. Girl, I'm telling you to get up every day and if it's a struggle then it will only make you a stronger person.Don't let anyone break you down..... Fight ,fight ,fight . It's not going to be easy .Life is not easy but you can do it.Good Luck and keep good people around you .
Reply:I'm sorry for you, that you found an jerk and that put him down easy,what i like too say i can't say over the web.But for you, keep your head up, and take an break from men for awhile. You deserve better and one day you will find True LUV.
Reply:Don't ever put your value and worth into someone that does not think much of himself. You trusted him and he abused that trust against you. I am sure that you are a wonderful person and someday someone will come along and appreciate what you can mean to them. You need someone who can bring you up in life and not down. You deserve to be treated with respect by the people who are suppose to care about you! Keep on working on yourself and know that you are worth more than your boyfriend treated you. I know exactly how you feel because I still am working on my own co-dependency issues. We only mean well when we invest our emotions and feelings into someone else and I guess we just want to believe that they can care as much as we do. It hurts when we love someone and they don't care in how they affect others. It's a hard balance when someone is one way toward you on the outside and you find out that they really are not that way about you on the inside.Always know that it is about them and not you because some people can try to make us crazy!! You are who you are from all of your past experiences along with the good and the bad. The end result is that you can choose to grow and learn from your experieces in life. Stay around people that do care for you and support you for who you are and lift you up to be the best you can be. In that you will find strength and courage to find your way and always know that what you can mean to yourself is what is most important. Take care and best wishes to you.
Reply:You don't need the stress that it brings to you, so I'd get rid of him. But if you have a problem with bulimia then drinking is not a good idea for you eithre. You may have a year of recovery with it but you have not recovered form the problems that caused it and drinking is only a diffrent excape.
Reply:OUCH....FIRST...NEVER EVER TALK TO THIS GUY AGAIN..LOSE HIM, SERIOULSY DONT LET HIM WRECK YOU ANYMORE...SECOND SUBMERGE YOUR SELF INTO WORK OR SCHOOL OR A COURSE TO BETTER YOURSELF..THIRD, GO SOMEWHERE ANYWHERE...FORGET ABOUT TIS JERK...OR ELSE BE PREPARED TO GET HURT AGAIN.





I KNOW YUR PAIN.
Reply:Honey, I just heard you say you have become stagnant in your recovery BECAUSE of him! You know we can't put the blame on others for our own mistakes. Get back on that horse! We all fall down once in a while, its ok, we just have to pick ourselves up and keep trucking. Guys say mean stuff when they're cornered, sometimes things they don't really mean. We do it to get a certain reaction, and this guy wants you to do all the work and bear the responsibility of the whole breakup. Do yourself a favor, and use compassion, patience, understanding and love to beat him at his own game. Be true to yourself, and don't let anyone be your reason for hurting yourself. Only you can help you with this, and I applaud your recovery, a year is a long time, I almost have two!
Reply:you need to get in touch with the local gangsters and have them take him behind a dumpster and beat the living ^#(^$)*_$ outta him! and then for your amusement you cant stand there laughing your a** off taking pictures!!!! its just p1sses me off to see good women treated horribly by selfish, uncaring,cheating,no good,worthless,jobless, caught in bed with your sister, and then your best friend, smelly, hairy,fat,stupid,ugly MEN!!!!





hope i helped! :)
Reply:forget him....finish with help...then, find a person who will love you for you and finish out your life with that special someone.....life is as good as you make it........good luck
Reply:not only should you get out but don't have another relationship until you have finished your therapy. not because you shouldn't be happy but because you need to learn to be happy first without someone else. you're saying you have co-dependency issues so get them taken care of before having another relationship. You will always pick a bad partner and not handle yourself well, until you've faced you're problems. Talk to your therapist and ask for help in getting the courage to leave. If you refuse to leave someone who is treating you like this then there is nothing anyone can do to help